Gettin’ jiggy with it

This is the last one about the dreaded intimate scenes. For now at least.

I have talked about how to build intimacy and keep that door open, now let’s get down to the mechanics of it all. Remember, the AAR Sensuality Rating System suggests ‘warm’ is where you will find moderately explicit sex scenes but how many should you include? And when? When does ‘warm’ heat up to ‘hot’ and can you rate ‘burning’ on the same scale as a Carolina Reaper?

Questions, questions – which in truth I don’t have the answer to but here is what I do know. Set your spice gun to warm.

There are generally four stages that romance novelists put their MCs through before they get to the Big ‘O’ – you know the one that fundamentally transforms them into a new beings. Regardless of your genre, if your MCs are going to be ‘shipped’, these can provide a framework for you to weave into a broader narrative.

As usual, the normal disclaimers apply as this list is neither scientific or remotely complete.

Stage One is the kiss. Has to be good in a toe-curling kind of way. Not in a find your tonsils kind of way. There seems to be a general consensus that this kiss should be all consuming as in ‘he devoured me’ – which doesn’t really work out of context – unless you are writing about cannibals.

As a writer, the question you have to ask at this point is how much time (e.g. word count) should I spend here? A full page is probably too much. A single sentence on what may be a pivotal point in a relationship, probably not enough. Because you know, regardless of genre, if your MCs have made it this far, this line has been crossed for good. Even when they say it hasn’t.

Stage Two is the self-thwarted attempt to go further. They kiss again but one of them pulls away for reasons that may or may not be clear at this point in time. This often feels like the first moment of romantic intention with all the other stages before seeming random and almost accidental (not always but mostly). During this stage your MCs know. They know there is something between them, even if they aren’t admitting it yet. At least one of them will have realised that the weird feeling in their stomach is not last night’s chili.

This is the stage where the reader really begins to understand how hot you are going to get.

Stage Three usually involves some form of manual intervention and when I say intervention, I really mean stimulation. In a secluded but public place. The location is important because it stops them going ALL THE WAY. If they aren’t in a public place, there needs to be something else that will stop them – you know, like an impending meteor strike or a man-eating spider.

Here I feel it’s important not to get too anatomical. Explicit descriptions, even at a super-hot level are less effective than emotional ones. Get sensory at this stage and show the reader all the feels. Don’t, unless it’s essential to the plot, find twenty different ways in which to describe your MMC’s penis.

Stage Four is the ‘we can but we shouldn’t’. I mean, as fully grown adults they could, but they won’t because if they did, it would be a novella and all the side characters would be left stranded in unfinished story-arcs. This is often the stage where the conflict fully surfaces and the forces that are keeping your lovers apart are at their strongest. Again, this is a critical plot point as it means there are still many hurdles to overcome.

Finally they arrive at the Big ‘O’. Life changing, world breaking, heart shattering orgasmic bliss (the first time round) without any of the awkward, complicated, bumpy reality of first time sex. Now depending on where you are in the story, this may be it – as your sweethearts ride off into the sunset, Sandy and Danny style. But, if you have 25% or more left, be prepared dear Reader, to have your HEA suspended by a thread over a pit of hungry alligators as the author (sadist that they are) pulls your lovers apart making them question the transformative powers of the Big ‘O’.

Your chosen genre will most likely decide what happens next. If you’re writing historical romance, some inexplicable change in circumstance will lead your lovers back together. If contemporary is your bag, the ludicrous set-up will be fully exposed but forgiveness all-round will lead to an HEA. Sci-fi will probably mean alien abduction that sets up a sequel, although dystopian will most likely lead to the death of one of the MCs triggering a fight against the evil machine oppressors. For an action adventure, at least one of your MCs will need to be rescued – probably from snakes or sharks.

Either way, as a writer you need to replace the sexual tension you have been building with a different sort of tension otherwise it can all get a bit limp and flaccid (which is a perfectly terrible word for this situation).

So there you go; learn your love languages, leave your doors open, set your spice levels and follow the stages – not necessarily in order but remember for the love of God, never to use the word ‘moist’.